For any of you just entering into the rental market and can’t spend $2,000 a month please feel free to use my translation guide below:
Cozy = Small
Quaint = Busted
Conveniently Located = On a busy main road tucked in between a halfway house and a bus terminal
Charming = Small & has not been remodeled since the civil war
Has Character = Slightly overpriced and has a bathtub in the Kitchen
Great View = It’s on the third floor and you can’t move anything bigger than a folding chair up the stairs
High Ceilings = Old and the wallpaper looks like a fat girl after Liposuction
When the agent says “one small thing” = There is a old lady on the first floor with 15 small yappy dogs who bite, hump legs and have mange
Pool & Gym = crappy apartment complex and they will raise your rent after the first year
Convenient Non Permit Street Parking = HA! Good luck dipshit
Conveniently Located near a laundry mat = no washer/dryer or hookups
Convenient (Agents love this word) = Not Convenient
Affordable!!! = Wall to wall stained pink carpeted, wood paneled piece of shit!
Garden Level = Basement with tiny windows and you better be an Oompa-Loompa
Great Deal!!! = The landlord is a crack head, a pedophile or both
Anything with *** = ***Don’t Bother***
Thanks for reading folks, if I have helped one person it was worth it.
from Craigslist best
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