Officeguns + Officegunners

Don't be too serious about this you might kill someone at the office.

Officeguns

New Translation for Real Estate Ads for Small budget Renters

For any of you just entering into the rental market and can’t spend $2,000 a month please feel free to use my translation guide below:

Cozy = Small
Quaint = Busted
Conveniently Located = On a busy main road tucked in between a halfway house and a bus terminal
Charming = Small & has not been remodeled since the civil war
Has Character = Slightly overpriced and has a bathtub in the Kitchen
Great View = It’s on the third floor and you can’t move anything bigger than a folding chair up the stairs
High Ceilings = Old and the wallpaper looks like a fat girl after Liposuction
When the agent says “one small thing” = There is a old lady on the first floor with 15 small yappy dogs who bite, hump legs and have mange
Pool & Gym = crappy apartment complex and they will raise your rent after the first year
Convenient Non Permit Street Parking = HA! Good luck dipshit
Conveniently Located near a laundry mat = no washer/dryer or hookups
Convenient (Agents love this word) = Not Convenient
Affordable!!! = Wall to wall stained pink carpeted, wood paneled piece of shit!
Garden Level = Basement with tiny windows and you better be an Oompa-Loompa
Great Deal!!! = The landlord is a crack head, a pedophile or both
Anything with *** = ***Don’t Bother***

Thanks for reading folks, if I have helped one person it was worth it.

from Craigslist best

21 Ways to Bring in the Business

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